I'M CHANGING MY MIDWIFE.

I have two nannies in my life. One is a sweet, fun, chatty nanny who smiles all the time and always wants to know what I’m up to and what is going on in my life, and the other nanny is a grumpy old thing who always frowns and moans about her life’s ‘troubles’ and couldn’t give two hoots about my dreams and aspirations.

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The first midwife I met was like my second nanny. She’s the one who insistently spoke about growth scans, mugged off hypnobirthing and kept huffing and puffing when her computer didn’t work. I didn’t get a good vibe from her at all. She was telling me how pointless birth plans are and how hypnobirthing women have unrealistic expectations of birth, not listening to the fact that I had an awesome breech home birth with my first using hypnobirthing techniques. Hello…I’m proof in the pudding!

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She wanted to be my midwife through the rest of my pregnancy, so she booked me in for two further appointments with her. I didn’t feel good about this. I asked her who is likely to be at the birth of my baby when the day comes. Will it be luck of the draw or will I know which community midwife it will be? With a home birth you get two midwives all to yourself!! She explained to me how it is always nice if the midwife who has taken care of me throughout my pregnancy is the one who attends the birth (meaning her) but I am able to meet all the community midwives who will make themselves on call around my EDD and make the decision myself.

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Thank goodness for that! The idea of having my grumpy nanny at the birth of my baby fills me with such dread and I know that this hypnobirthing hater would just make it a horrible experience for me. Plus, the fact that she said I will need to have a vaginal examination to know when to call for the second midwife didn’t sit well with me either, because I had already told her that I did not have any examinations with my first (no midwife present and quick labour) and how I don’t feel it is necessary, as I’m a pretty good judge of how well I am progressing during labour. A woman knows her own body better than anyone else, right? Only she knows how she really feels.

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It is really important for me to find a midwife who I can connect with and who is supportive of my decisions. I am sure this midwife is perfect for someone else, but definitely not me. I didn’t have the confidence during my first pregnancy to change my midwife (she too was really grumpy and never looked me in the eye when speaking to me. She would sigh and say ‘right…come on then, lets listen to baby’s heartbeat’ as if it was a real chore.) I am totally aware that I am not the only woman to be pregnant, and I know that midwives see loads of pregnant ladies every single day, but a smile wouldn’t go a miss! So, this time around, I am holding my head high, sticking to my guns and changing my midwife. I am gaining back a bit of control for my happiness throughout this pregnancy, so I look forward to my appointments rather than feeling reluctant to go to them.

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